Clean Short Jokes, Funny One Line Jokes

An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~ Will RogersWhen I come to one of the forks in the road of life, I don’t waste time and energy wishing it was a spoon. ~ Miss Piggy

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few ...

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.